Jay Haynes' Family Karate Center Child Abduction Prevention Program

What every Parent Should Know

Dear Parents:

Thank you for inquiring for more information regarding Jay Haynes Family Karate Center’s Child Abduction Prevention Program. The Family Karate Center and its staff are dedicated to the community of Colorado Springs and proudly offer this information free of charge to anyone interested.

Please read this information carefully. It may prove invaluable to your family's well being. Together, we will work toward the benefit of our community and our city.

Provided along with this information packet is a brochure explaining all of the programs offered at the Jay Haynes Family Karate Center. We specialize in children and family programs and have programs available for all ages. If you would like to take a free tour of our facility, please feel free to call us at 574-7557. The Jay Haynes Family Karate Center is located at 3617 Betty Drive. You can find us one block south and west of Academy and Austin Bluffs.

If you have any questions, or would like to speak personally with myself on child abduction prevention, please feel free to call and talk with either myself or any of our professional and courteous staff. Thank you again for inquiring about this invaluable information.

Sincerely,

Jay Haynes.
Karate Instructor.

Child Abduction Prevention Information

Please discuss the following things with your child:

1. Have a recent frontal photograph of your child. Carry it around with you so you can put it to immediate use in the event of an abduction. It should preferably be black and white so that it copies well. Then, if you have to, you can make quick copies to distribute immediately.

2. Keep a record of your child's height and weight and update it every two months or so.

3. Make a mental note of what your child is wearing everyday.

4. Never mark your child's clothing with his/her name. An abductor will often use this information when finding a dropped hat or coat to lure a child away. Use some other distinguishing marking to identify your child's clothing with.

5. Every time your child leaves the house you should know the three W's:
- Where your child is going
- Who your child will be with
- When your child will return.

6. Make sure you know the names, addresses and phone numbers of all your child's friends.

7. If your child is missing, you should immediately contact:
- His/her friends
- The Police
- Local Missing Children's Hotline.

In addition, talk to your child regularly about the following topics:

1. Reassure your child that abductions are rare.

2. Make sure you have a Code Word established with your child so that if you send an adult that your child does not know to pick them up, that adult must know the Code Word.

3. Talk regularly with your child about these topics involving strangers:

What is a stranger?

A stranger is someone that you don't know. Strangers can be both good or bad, but if you don't know a person, then they are always a stranger.

What are the rules of a stranger?

The four rules of a stranger are:

1. Don't talk to a stranger.
2. Don't take anything from a stranger.
3. Don't get to close to a stranger.
4. Don't go anywhere with a stranger.

The rules apply to all strangers, not just the "bad" ones.

What should your child do if a stranger is at the door?

If your child is old enough to answer the door, make sure that he/she only answers the door to people he/she knows. Role-play with them and try to get them to open the door for strangers. Good examples of strangers at the door would be: someone whose car broke down, someone who needs to use the phone or borrow something, a meter man or lady, or even a policeman (a policeman would understand why a child shouldn't open the door to a stranger).

How should your child answer the phone?

If your child is old enough to answer the phone while at home alone, make sure that he/she knows never to tell a person on the phone that he/she is alone or when the parents will return. Generally I tell my students to say that their parents are busy and take a message. This works well because they aren't lying and it usually does the trick. Everyone knows that parents tell their children to say they are in the shower. I don't generally suggest this one because everybody knows this. Again, role-play with your child on different phone scenarios.

How should your child use the phone in an emergency?

Teach you child how to use 911 at an early age. Teach them when to use it, saying that it is only for emergencies and that they should not simply play around with it, and explain why. Make sure however, that your child is not afraid to use 911 in a real emergency. Also, teach your child how to dial their home phone number with and without the area code. This is important because often times when a child is abducted, he/she is taken outside the area. When the child does find a phone, the phone number they dial doesn't work. That is why learning the area code is so vital.

What should your child do if a stranger approaches?

I teach my students that when a stranger approaches them to not let him/her get within arm's reach. I use a tool called "Stand Up, Back Away, Run To." In this exercise I role-play with the kids to first stand up, then back away, and finally run to the nearest adult they know when a stranger approaches them.

What should your child do if a stranger grabs him/her?

I teach my students what we call the "Cat Drill." I explain it to them this way: What if you were holding a cat and the cat decided that it wanted down. Would the cat be able to get down? The answer is obviously yes. The reason for this is that the cat will make the cost of holding it higher than the benefit. Therefor it would kick, scream, scratch, and do whatever else it had to achieve its objective. If an eight pound cat can do this, then why can't a fifty pound child? I then teach my students a very specific set of techniques to use in the event someone actually grabs them. Then we role-play it over and over again until it becomes a natural response.

4. Make sure that your child knows that if he/she is ever lost or abducted that you will look for them until you find them, no matter what. This is very important, because when an abductor kidnaps a child, he/she immediately begins working on that child's trust in his/her parents. He/she will tell the child that his/her parents don't want them, don't love them, and won't even bother looking for them. The worst part is, the child may believe it.

Finally, if you see anyone suspicious hanging around areas frequented by children, make sure you get a description of the person as well as the vehicle and a license number in case there is a need to report it to the police.

I hope this information helps you in ensuring that your child is safe and grows up to be a very productive member of society. Please realize that you as a parent can never be 100% sure. I have been practicing the Martial Arts for over 13 years and am still not 100% sure in any situation. All I can do is continue to move toward that direction. This is what I encourage you, as a parent, to do as well. By requesting this information, you have taken a great step forward. Please contininue to educate yourself and your child in this area.

The last piece of advise I would offer is in the way you should educate your child. It is much like teaching him/her to cross the street. You want him/her to be aware, but not paranoid of all situations. The idea is to give them a sense of control, not helplessness, and if you over-emphasize the dangers, then you may do more harm than good. The last thing you want is to give your child a feeling of helplessness. Rather, you want him/her to feel empowered and be able to control his/her environment. This will give your child an edge that may in fact save his/her life. Please walk the fine line between education and scaring. One will do great good, the other great harm. If you have any more questions about child abduction prevention or would like to know more about what you can do to help, please call me, Jay Haynes, with the Family Karate Center at 574-7557.